Old Habits are hard to break…
Habit, conditioning, whatever you want to call it, is a funny thing. Emotionally you fall right back into the conditioning when triggered, but logically you know there is no longer any reality to support the conditioning.
I wrote an email recently, catching up really, and found an emotional expectation formed almost immediately. I was waiting almost breathlessly for a return email. A conversation.
I was also aware of the fact that a return email would not be forthcoming. Not in a sad or negative way, it’s just that our realities have changed. My emotions apparently haven’t caught up with that reality. They should have, but here’s the funny thing, conditioning caught me off guard.
I know emotionally and intellectually that our realities have changed. I don’t harbor any ill will, actually, I have only the best of feelings for this person. It’s this way between us because it’s best this way…
Another friend says, “be like water”, and I suppose that’s the best thing about all this. I adapt. I’ll be like water and move along.
But, conditioned reflex.. it can sneak up on you, and you find yourself waiting breathlessly for a conversation to begin. LOL
